


Cogito Ergo Sum (English Version)

by Antares



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Bodyswap, M/M, Pre-Slash, Telepathic Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-25
Updated: 2009-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 02:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5074375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares/pseuds/Antares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel and Jack are arguing and the aliens don't like it ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cogito Ergo Sum (English Version)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Cogito Ergo Sum (Deutsche Version)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5074417) by [Antares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares/pseuds/Antares)
  * A translation of [Cogito Ergo Sum (Deutsche Version)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5074417) by [Antares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares/pseuds/Antares). 



> 1) Many, many thanks to amamra_m for the prompt and the beta! Thanks!
> 
> 2) I "borrowed" the title from the French philosopher Descartes.

The colonel and the archaeologist had been bickering since they had stepped out of the gate on PX4-888. A constant flow of sarcastic remarks and silly "Daniel?","Jack?"-moments followed by "You bet, flyboy" and "Wait until you're my age, book-boy"-crap.

The team was so used it that Teal'c only sighed when Jack stole food from Daniel's plate during dinner, and Sam merely rolled her eyes when Daniel slapped Jack's hand for it. Jack and Daniel would have never thought that somebody could have been offended by their playful banter but they were wrong.

Jack announced, "The last cookie is mine," and stretched out his hand to get it. Daniel beat him to it, snatched it, popped it into his mouth, and munched happily as he tried to say, "I ffon't ffink ffo."

"You ... you ...!"

That was the moment when the patience of their hosts run out. With something that resembled a lot like anger – and this from a people that had been extraordinary phlegmatic so far – the village-administrator rose from the table and turned to Jack and Daniel. "Your belligerent behaviour causes us a lot of emotional pain, and I'm sure, it is merely a reflection of the emotional pain you are both suffering. We are convinced that a better understanding of the other is the remedy to nearly all forms of arguments and misunderstandings. Our children learn this at an early age."

He fumbled under his richly brocaded waistcoat and pulled out a golden chain with a sparkling green amulet. Turning the pendant at Jack and Daniel he added, "This will help you".

A greenish light shot out and enveloped Jack and Daniel. Before anybody could react Daniel slumped down. The administrator caught him and bedded him on the floor with surprising gentleness.

"What have you done?" Sam shouted furiously and Teal'c cursed himself for not having his weapons with him, but all the weapons had been stored at the entry to the dinner tent.

"For 24 hours they will share one body and experience the thoughts and the feelings of the other along with their own. Hopefully after this time they will see that there are other and better ways than constant controversy."

"Undo it! At once!" Teal'c ordered.

"That is not in my power. Once the cogito commences, I can't stop it." The administrator bowed to Teal'c. "But I can assure you, that it does not harm your friends."

Jack had only listened superficially to all the explanations. He had immediately knelt down beside Daniel's body and felt his pulse. It was strong and stable. He heard Daniel asking, "Am I okay?"

"Yeah, you are." Jack's head snapped up and he looked around searchingly, then he concentrated on Daniel again and asked, "Wait – you're ... you're ...?"

"I'm in your head as this charming man promised," Daniel said rather sarcastically but not too worried.

"No harm will come to him," an elder woman promised once more when she saw Jack's doubtful look. "The cogito is harmless. We'll bring him to the main hall and ..."

"No, we are leaving," Jack decided. He got up from the ground. "Teal'c you'll carry Daniel back to the gate. Carter, you'll inform Dr. Fraiser. We ..."

"He cannot leave these premises," the woman now told them rather shyly.

"Is that so?" Jack's murderous glance nearly pierced the administrator.

"She speaks the truth."

"Care to explain?"

He did, but only Carter was able to follow the explanation that was full of scientific terms.

After five minutes O'Neill interrupted impatiently, and asked the major, "And in small words for us ordinary mortals?"

"The EM-field of this planet is proportional to ..."

"Carter!"

"Ehm ... What he said. You can't leave the planet for the next 24 hours."

"Crap." Jack rubbed his neck absentmindedly while he was thinking.

"Jack, this could be an interesting anthropological experience."

"I don't remember agreeing to offer my body for scientific experiments! Last time I looked I wasn't a guinea-pig."

"So I'll take that part."

"With one little blemish," Jack grumbled. "Forgot already, that these hands are now OUR hands? " He wiggled his fingers.

"Oh!" Daniel sounded excited. "I can feel you ... us touch the table. That's fascinating! And your hands and ... Jack your right knee is hurting!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

Jack was so grumpy that Daniel laughed and Jack could feel the laughter bubbling through his head.

"You have to concentrate a bit and I'm sure you also can access parts of my brain. Start speaking French or Abydonian fluently for example and freak Sam and Teal'c out."

"You're so immature." They both knew that Jack was very tempted by the whole French speaking thingy.

But they had more pressing matters at hand. They had to organize their prolonged stay and inform the SGC and General Hammond. Jack had to give Teal'c and Carter a short outline about his current situation. That wasn't too easy as Daniel kept interrupting him with – petty – details, but in the end he managed to alleviate their fears. But only after Janet had made a house-call to PX4-888 and confirmed the colonel's assessment of the situation they were free to go, because Daniel had insisted on not spending the night looking at his unconscious body.

"That's creepy, Jack!"

He trusted Dr. Fraiser to keep good care of "him" and begged Jack to bring them out of the main hall. After they had sworn to come back if there was the slightest change in their condition, Janet allowed it reluctantly.

"What do you wanna do with this evening?" Jack asked and was astonished how quickly he had gotten used to not speaking out loud.

"Read the article about the newest discoveries in Chichén Itzá by Professor Fernandez?"

The wonderful thing with this whole body-sharing was that Jack knew the moment Daniel said it that he didn't mean it. And a bit of prodding revealed that Daniel would rather have a short walk to the shore of the small river, meandering through the village.

Five minutes later, Jack sat down on the sandy banks and threw some pebbles into the water.

"So, what now?"

They experimented a bit with the mind-reading and tried to find out if Daniel was able to command Jack's body. As it didn't really work, Daniel complained about the fact that it was him in Jack's body and not the other way round. Jack gloated and boasted that they had chosen the fitter one. And they both knew at the same moment that he would have liked to have a younger body again – and be it only for one day.

"Jack ..." Daniel's uneasiness was palpable. "I like ... to have perfect eyesight for the first time," he tried to lighten the mood and knew at the same moment that Jack sometimes used glasses when he was alone and wanted to read something by bad light.

"Ouch," Jack commented. "Now my secret is out."

"As long as I don't learn more dangerous secrets." It was said lightly but both were suddenly aware that there was a very awkward and embarrassing path before them if they didn't pay really good attention.

"So, are you hungry or tired?" Daniel asked.

"You know, I'd like to have ... "

... a beer right now. Yes, I know." They both grinned and Jack thought how happy it made him being on the same wavelength with Daniel. Perhaps these dumb, crazy people weren't totally and utterly wrong?

The advantages and disadvantages of different brands of beer were a safe topic to "talk" about, followed by favourite foods. The little secrets that were revealed – like Jack not liking Caesar's dressing but buying it because Daniel preferred it to Newman's Own Vinaigrette – were fun to learn and caused a lot of laughter.

After a longer companionable silence, Daniel suddenly said, "I don't want to sound like a Goa'uld, but I think We should return, because We have to pee."

"We could use the river ..."

"Jack!"

Afterwards Daniel had to admit that perhaps it would have been better to follow through with Jack's spontaneous action, once returned to Jack's room it was much more difficult.

"Hey, why don't you give me a moment of privacy here?" Jack inquired after entering the bathroom and fumbling with his fly.

"You tell me how to do it and I'll do it," Daniel deadpanned.

"What do I know? It's the first time I've had a hitch-hiker in my brain."

"No, it isn't. Think of Marcello and the body-swap machine."

"That was different. I was alone in your body."

"Right," Daniel conceded.

A moment of clueless indecision followed, then Jack got all matter-of-fact-like, brushed his teeth, splashed water into his face, peed, washed his hands and acted as if he was in the SGC.

Daniel tried valiantly not to look, not to feel, but with only moderate success and they both knew it.

"I'm sorry," he offered for all it was worth.

"Pah. I'm fine," Jack wiped Daniel's apology off. And for the first time it flashed through their collective mind, that it could have been much worse. "Think of Carter's techno-babble filling my head. Or if you had argued with Teal'c your eloquent self would have been reduced to one-word-sentences now."

"I'm glad it's you."

"Me, too."

\---

The next morning, Daniel demanded coffee and Jack agreed wholeheartedly. After the first cup they were able to assure Janet that they were doing just fine. Janet insisted nevertheless on a short examination with some tests, but then they were free to go back to Jack's room.

The rest of the day stretched out before them, still 13 hours of forced co-habitation. Jack tried to do a cross-word puzzle but he was too restless. He stopped when there were more doodles than actual words on the paper.

"Ehm ... we could do ... colonel-y things, if you like," Daniel offered.

"Colonel-y things, Mr. Linguist? You know, these people aren't really too big on shooting and blowing up things." He sighed and put the pencil down. "But we could have a look at those ancient bath-houses you mentioned yesterday."

"We could?" Daniel sounded hopeful and delighted at the same time.

"I think I found the perfect way to watch your ass ... ehm, your six, I mean," Jack corrected himself rapidly. But that was a waste of effort.

"You have a habit of ogling my ass during missions?" Daniel wanted to know.

"Daniel!"

"Jack?"

In the next second both knew that Jack didn't only eye Daniel's ass when he was bent forward to brush away dirt and dust from ancient epigraphs, but he also imagined how it would feel to let his hands glide over said ass. After a millisecond of shock about this admission, Jack started reciting his name, rank and service number.

"Stop it, Jack!"

"Jack O'Neill, Colonel, United States Air Force ... " Jack put his fingers in his ears and spoke loudly, hoping to override Daniel's presence in his mind.

"Jack!"

"Not listening to you! Not listening! Not listening!" Jack singsonged.

"Who is immature now?" Daniel wanted to stomp his foot and was very frustrated that it wasn't possible.

"La la la la la la."

"Jack!" Daniel nearly choked on the word but it took Jack still more than a minute to notice out that something wasn't right.

"Daniel?"

"I'm not feeling too well, all of a sudden."

Now that Jack really paid attention and stopped singing he felt it also, a dull headache, vertigo and nausea. "Me, too. Either it's a feedback-loop ...

"... or it's their way to guarantee that the disputes do not continue endlessly", Daniel finished for Jack. "Negative conditioning." He nodded knowingly.

"I'm no dog!"

Daniel grinned faintly. They waited for a few minutes, thinking only about harmless topics like vacation spots they had already visited or wanted to visit in the future, and the symptoms disappeared slowly.

"Okay, Daniel. Here's what we are going to do now: we are going to visit those bath-houses, you can dig and poke all you want, and you can even tell me the history of each and every inscription we encounter. That way we'll be on secure terrain, the worst thing that may happen is that I get bored. Agreed?"

Daniel forced himself to "say", "Okay." But at the same time they both knew that his most prominent thoughts were, "Is it true? Are you interested in me? Are you ... attracted to me? Are you ...?" And like a background music to his thoughts there were scenes of Daniel kissing Jack in locker room, Daniel pressing Jack against the wall in his office, Daniel stroking Jack's erection through his jeans ...

"Daniel." Jack groaned out loud.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Daniel forced himself to concentrate and forced out, "I think they won't be too happy if I started digging around in their ancient bath-houses. But I could video-tape it and translate it when we are back."

"Let's do that."

On the way to the bathhouses Jack couldn't get the images out of his head. They had shown him a self-confident, forceful Daniel. Naively, he had always imagined it the other way round and therefore he suddenly had to know: "Pressing me against the wall in your office?"

"Uhm ... yes. But I'm also fine with you doing the pressing to the wall." Daniel's head promptly offered the respective scenario.

"Wow." Jack's subconscious, or whoever was in command now, thought that that was very hot and contributed some further details.

Hands pushing up a t-shirt, a tongue finding its way between Daniel's lips...

... a tongue that surrendered willingly and fingers that started unbuttoning the green uniform jacket. Warm hands gliding over Jack's chest ...

... glasses, folded and put onto the shelf behind them. Daniel's hair under his touch, Daniel's cheek with a hint of stubble, the neck and the black t-shirt that had to go ...

... dog-tags which were pushed aside for lips that were nibbling on his nipples until they were hard and nearly aching. A soft moan ...

... and an answering moan when Jack pressed his groin into Daniel's.

"Sir? Sir! Are your alright?" A small group of people had gathered around Jack, who had stopped in the middle of the road.

"Fine. I'm fine," he tried to convince them.

"You want to sit down?"

"No, thank you."

The people accompanied him to the bath-houses, some of them running to inform Dr. Fraiser and when she arrived with Carter in tow, he assured them that everything was fine even if he was currently doing archaeological filming and documenting. Carter bit down on her lips not to laugh, and Janet grinned: "It seems the amulet achieved its purpose."

"Yep. Daniel and I ... uh ... won a new perspective on certain things. But I'm going to be so glad when I can get rid of him in a few hours."

"I'm hurt!" Daniel laughed.

"Don't be. I'm sure you'll love the real thing even more than what your vivid imagination has stored in your head."

"Really?" And he sent Jack such a detailed scene with a blowjob, complete with slobbering noises, making Jack choke on his own spit and he had to cough miserably. When Jack was able to breathe again, he asked, "Listen, do you want it to be only you and your right hand when we get through this? If not, act like a well-behaved archaeologist and let Us video-tape this stupid frieze. Deal?"

"Oops. Deal." Daniel's happiness was contagious and Jack smiled a lot more than usual.

And like that, the people from PX4-888 were convinced that also in this case their method had proved to be the one and only to bring these two men on the right path...

\------END------ 


End file.
